Even in the midst of my parent’s marriage (aka my life) falling apart, I had that sense. Now, don’t get me wrong, I also felt despair. An uncomfortable emotion I largely avoided by living in my head. And, the felt sense of inclusion—being at home wherever I am—was deeper than the despair. At its root, this flowed from the Divine’s love for me—as expressed by Jesus. An unconditional and unending belovedness that continues to deepen within me. Not to say that I haven’t been scarred by religiosity. I most certainly have!

My first experience of the internal wisdom, or divine guidance, that inhabits us all came when I wrestled over where to go for undergraduate school. While the loudest part of me wanted to be at the University of Southern California, the quietly true part of me told me to attend Washington State University. There, this same compass led me to forgo the pursuit of wealth, for what lit me up from the inside out. So, I graduated with a B.A. in History.

After I spent a couple of years exploring occupational possibilities—and wrestling with what to do with my life—this same “voice” invited me to join the air force. So, I did—after getting married. As we moved to San Antonio. Tucson, and Las Vegas, my biggest hope/prayer was to find people to do life with. A request to the Universe that was met each time … and then some! 

During the first chunk of my time in the air force I went to war, graduated from the USAF Weapons School, redeployed for the war in the Middle East, and had a beautiful kid. Then, tragedy struck. My wife and I experienced a heartbreaking second trimester miscarriage. Not long after which, we separated for perhaps the seven most devastating months of my life. During this time the life and future I’d built and imagined for myself was blown apart. Yet, falling to pieces is precisely what allowed me to become more whole, loving, giving, compassionate, and understanding. We ended up reuniting for six months—which I honestly believe were the best in our marriage—and divorced as friends.

Then, just as life was looking super rosy—after a whirlwind romance I was engaged, and my air force career was taking off—tragedy struck again. My fiancée, along with my three-year-old and her seven-year-old—went on a family friendly hike at Red Rock Canyon, NV. But in a surreal chain of events, I somehow slipped, stumbled, slid, and plummeted 30-feet off a cliff, headfirst onto a boulder.

(My family says I looked far worse the first couple of days)

While I should have died, and remained in the ICU for two months of ups and downs, I didn’t. From the beginning I was surrounded by the love of my eventual wife and air force co-workers, as well as the many family members and friends who dropped everything to fly to Las Vegas to be by my side. What is more, I believe love transcends all distance—meaning the hopes, prayers, and well wishes of family, friends, and even people who barely knew me from around the world, played a part in saving my life. In Falling into Love: The Transformative Power of Community, I write about how I truly believe that the love of these people and the Divine is what not only kept me alive, but allowed me to heal more fully than could be reasonably expected.

While “the accident” did leave me disabled by a severe traumatic brain injury, the loss of my peripheral vision and depth perception (meaning I can’t drive), no sense of smell, and a variety of other things, my brain damage could have been far worse. After all, even though the air force medically retired me; I went on to get a Master of Divinity at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, and a Doctorate of Ministry in Leadership and Spiritual Formation through George Fox University—although I had to devote notably more time to my studies than my fellow students.

I got those degrees because my aforementioned divorce and accident, combined with my second divorce (which came while I was at The Seattle School)—as well as the quiet voice of Truth inside of me—to teach me what matters most in life: Loving well, by caring deeply for people, creation, and the invisible threads between us all. That’s why I’ve committed my life to helping people ride the upward spiral of love—which heals, frees, transforms, and draws us closer to one another. I can’t wait to join you on that journey!

(There’s a story about this shirt, if you want to read it here)

But don’t go quite yet! ;) I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention I met the most amazing person since Jesus on July 17th 2016. I had two tickets to a Matt Nathanson and Phillip Phillips concert at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, but nobody to go with. So, after I put out an ask for a concert mate on Facebook, Lisa answered—and the rest is history! We got married in 2017, and while I can’t say it’s been all bliss and beauty, I can say: Something magical happens when two people commit to seeing the best in, believing the best about, and speaking the best of and to, one another. I’m grateful every day for getting to do life with Lisa!